guide: 5 lessons from my first year freelancing
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want.”
~ Margaret Young
~ Margaret Young
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Like a lot of freelancers, running my own business wasn’t my first career choice. Before I worked in the film industry, I clocked in as a microbiologist. Now, I know going from bench top scientist to movie-maker may seem drastic, but this contrast brings me to the first of five lessons I learned while surviving my first year freelancing without a backup plan.
combine strengths
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” Brene Brown The Gifts of Imperfection
I went into microbiology because it was the life my parents wanted me to live, and I just hated it. But embracing this background as I moved into my new career has given me a competitive advantage. People think biology is all science, when it’s probably 50% art. Likewise, because film is a creative endeavor, most would assume there isn’t a whole lot of science to it.
By tapping into my analytical background, running off to perform experiments with my lights, analyzing the data I’ve collected, and then posting the results on socials, I’ve been able to market myself as excitable and a total nerd for lighting – something which DP’s, my clients, want their gaffer to be.
I didn’t market just my strengths this last year though.
The real reason I switched careers isn’t because I tapped into some unknown intersection in the film world. I had to change my whole life up or I was probably going to be dead in 5 years. You see, I used to be a raging alcoholic in my 20’s. Daily drinker, couldn’t put the bottle down for more than a few hours type of guy. I watched everyone I loved and knew leave me because I was such a difficult person to be around. It was during this darkest period of my life that I picked up my first camera. And for the first time, I was able to turn a few hours of sobriety into a few days. The energy behind this little thing wasn’t like anything I had felt before, and I knew if I ever wanted to live I needed to follow that energy.
live your truth
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” Anna Quindlen
The 3 year result of that decision has led me to a career in film lighting, and my second tip of the video. Live your truth. Maybe there was a time when admitting alcoholism would’ve been the end of my business, but not anymore. I can tell you that every person I relate that story to has responded warmly to me and wants to help me succeed. We’ve all gone through some shit, ya know? People can see their own struggles in my quest for redemption and it makes me relatable. It turns out, people want to work with people they find relatable, not just someone who posts the highlights.
But putting down the bottle didn’t just magically give me the brain capacity to run a business, in fact, quite the opposite. I spent too much of my 20’s NOT developing healthy stress techniques, so when I finally stopped drinking I had so much catching up to do.
take care of your mental health
“He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.” Lao-tzu, Tao Te Ching
Successfully going freelance required me to pay attention to my mental health at a level I had never done before. There are so many new stresses to deal with when starting your own business, self-doubt being the biggest killer of them all.
Gaining insight through therapy, meditating and doing yoga, working on communication habits, finding healthy ways to release stress. These all sound like bullet points from a hippie wellness retreat, but using these resources enabled me to keep my anxiety at a healthy level. Because of this, I was able to do the work that I needed to do, and show up how I wanted to as the face of my brand on most days, which I don’t have to remind you is an amazing turn around from where I was 4 years ago.
As much as I want to think that I did this all myself, the truth of the matter is far from that. I couldn’t have overcome self-doubt alone, I needed a support system.
find community
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. [But] social support is not the same as merely BEING in the presence of others. The critical issue is RECIPROCITY: truly being heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart.” – Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. “The body Keeps the Score”
Community is the single most important thing you’ll develop during your time as a freelancer. Yes, “your network is your net-worth” is a very applicable, if over-used, phrase, but it goes so much deeper than that.
I’ve been able to surround myself with people who want to see me succeed and it is worlds apart from trying to do all this alone. Calling a buddy to ask how they sent this email, or dealt with this situation, or to let me vent about a gig, or to be a shoulder to cry on has meant that I haven’t had to fight self-doubt all by myself. I remember what it’s like to have nobody pick up when I call, and it has been such a blessing to be receiving support instead.
But just beyond the emotional support I’ve received from friends, people hire people they know. Especially in this field, even if we don’t want to admit it. So the more I’ve put myself out there, gotten coffees, networked, played the game, the easier it has been to get the next gig. A younger, more immature Tyler would’ve argued that people should recognize talent and be willing to pay for it, but with age comes the recognition that my “competition” is all technically capable of performing the job. It’s who the client wants to do the job with, and that’s usually who they know, and more importantly who they like.
I tell you what though, the cool thing about having first customers when I opened shop is that some of them turned into repeat customers. And then all of a sudden I started making a little bit of money and getting more requests for my time.
develop financial acumen
“5. The stakes for us are high and real. This is about survival, feeding our families, educating our children. It’s about eating.”
6. We accept enumeration for our labor. We’re not here for fun. We work for money.”
– Steven Pressfield The War of Art
I ignored the pressure to spend time and money developing a body of work that proved I could do the work. I kmew I had a skill, and it was going to cost money to use that skill. A chef in training still gets paid for the meals he cooks, I got paid for the experiments I botched, I damn well am going to be paid if someone’s making money from this. End of discussion.
Now, do I do favors for friends, and donate my time and experience to help uplift others so that they can get a foothold in this industry? Of course, that’s what community is all about. But when it comes to the majority of my gigs, my mindset has been that I run a business first, and then I light film sets. If I don’t run a business that keeps me in the green, I can’t play with my toys.
Another way I kept myself in the green was business purchases on the 2nd of the month. It seems silly, I know, but it’s so easy to get that big payday, splurge on a new thing, and then all of a sudden some other invoice you were expecting is two weeks late and you can’t pay rent. I swear this didn’t happen to me, but it came really close to happening to me.
Lastly, “buy once cry once” was a tip I followed and did not regret. There are things that I can and did purchase inexpensively to get me going, but investing in quality items that will last the length of my career has already begun to save me money. By walking this balance, I was able to open up shop earlier with a larger inventory, while investing towards long-term growth.
The hardest thing about the transition for me though, was admitting that I just didn’t have any control over a majority of the situation.
bonus tip: give up
“Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles.” – Terence McKenna
The more I gave up trying to control things, and began to just let go, and let things happen, the busier I found myself. The path forward wasn’t clear to me until I took that first step, and I realized that I could take two more. So I kept walking until I found myself in the promised land with no boss, no 9-5 job, and an abundance of free time. Hope to see you here soon!
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– This blog post contains only Tyler’s opinions about G&E, gaffing, and LED lighting, and was not reviewed or paid for by outside persons or manufacturers
– Tyler Trepod is a freelance owner/operator gaffer of a Grip & Electric truck based in Denver, Colorado and serves the Boulder, Denver, Colorado Springs, & Fort Collins markets